


Introduction to The Polyphonic Motets of Lassus

by SherlockSlashGoggles



Series: The Polyphonic Motets of Lassus [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Historical, BBC Sherlock - Freeform, Crack, M/M, the polyphonic motets of lassus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-13
Updated: 2011-10-13
Packaged: 2017-10-24 13:57:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/264224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockSlashGoggles/pseuds/SherlockSlashGoggles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here it is, as simple as I can make it: what if Canon!Sherlock was a total fangirl for the 2010 show, seen through the lens of a Victorian soap-opera.</p><p>Background: In the ACD story The Bruce-Partington Plans, Sherlock is working very hard on a monograph on the Polyphonic Motets of Lassus.</p><p>Now imagine that The Polyphonic Motets of Lassus is Canon!Sherlock's favorite crap-telly equivalent. Like, say, a weekly, episodic play. And say it was set in the FAR FLUNG FUTURE (2010). And say it starred a handsome but infuriating investigator and a man people often underestimate.</p><p>And say Sherlock's monographs were obsessive speculation about the EXACT NATURE of the relationship between those two men, while the people around him pointedly do NOT write monographs filled with the same obsessive speculation about Sherlock and John.</p><p>Well then, I'd say you'd need this introduction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Introduction to The Polyphonic Motets of Lassus

**Author's Note:**

> This idea grabbed me, and I just have to get it out of my head. I am fully prepared to admit it makes no sense at all to anyone who is not me. This has not been beta'd or Brit-picked (although I do know enough to say up front that yes, I know royal decrees don't do that. It was just silly to write). It has been very lightly spell-checked. Not so's you'd notice.
> 
> I have Sherlock's first monograph sitting right next to me, all ready to be typed up. An entire AU sprang into my head, fully formed. It's just that the form is insane.

_The Polyphonic Motets of Lassus_ was a weekly stage show that ran for many years in late-nineteenth and early-twentieth century London. It is the progenitor of the genre we now know as “soap-opera” (linguists disagree over whether the term comes from the crates of soap and other goods the audience would use to create seats in the aisles of the packed theater or from the derogatory observation made by upper-class theater enthusiasts that the show catered to the base appetites of the unwashed masses). The well-known Victorian detective Sherlock Holmes was (unusually, for a man of his social standing) a great fan and champion of the show. Holmes' colleague and intimate friend Dr. John Watson suggested the show as a distraction during a period when Holmes was suffering greatly from the effects of drug withdrawal. The pair attended regularly, right up until the stage show entered a period of creative decline that made Sherlock’s worst drugged-out ramblings seem like a lecture in logical thought.

 

 _The Polyphonic Motets of Lassus_ began as a story about the Motet family, inhabitants of a futuristic, turn-of-the-millenium vision of London (the city was renamed “Lassus” after the in-universe American War of Redependence). It was conceived of as a study of family dynamics under pressure: the Motets were the proprietors of the “Polyphonic Motets” music store, a business perpetually one rabid-turkey attack away from closure. It is a universal story, and audiences responded enthusiastically. As the show carried on from week to week and then year to year, however, the writers struggled to find things for the now-grown Motet children to do. First the Motets bought a pub. Then a steam-station. Then an empty warehouse where they slaughtered all those damn rabid turkeys the Americans kept dropping on them. Eventually it seemed as though there was no industry in Lassus that was not run by a member of the Motet family. In addition to the sudden and complete control over Lassus’s economy, the Motets were gifted with increasingly strange plot lines by writers who flailed ineffectively as plot coherency spun further and further out of their grasp. Many of the techniques today’s audiences associate with ratings-desperation (techniques like inexplicable musical numbers, streetwise orphans who are adopted and then forgotten with dizzying speed, and Very Special anti-opium episodes) were in fact pioneered by _The Polyphonic Motets of Lassus_ in this period. After years of low ticket sales and even lower standards, _The Polyphonic Motets of Lassus_ was scheduled to close. Just then, in the show’s darkest hour, two men appeared who would change the face of Victorian-era episodic plays about futuristic music stores…forever.

 

Simon Morgan and his writing partner Lord Matthew Tish had been fans of the show since they used to sneak in as children, and they could not bear to see it close. They struck a deal that allowed them to take over complete creative control of the show from its creator, Alan C. Ducksworth, so long as they took on all associated debts as well. Although Morgan and Lord Tish had grown incredibly wealthy from their work on the high-brow period piece _Inspector Spacetime_ , their combined fortunes were nearly depleted by the project (they later claimed not to have noticed, as they spent most of this period preparing a massive overhaul of the show and “geeking out hardcore” in the theater’s prop department). It was around this time that Lord Tish became acquainted with Sherlock Holmes following a scandal at the House of Parliament (the details of which are still protected by royal decree). After overhearing a whispered (but heated) exchange between Holmes and Watson over gunpowder’s merits as light entertainment, Lord Tish prevailed upon the pair to return to the theater and attend the first staging of the revamped _Polyphonic Motets of Lassus_. It was after this week that Holmes published the first in his infamous series of monographs about the show; he never missed another showing.

 

When Lord Tish and Morgan took over _The Polyphonic Motets of Lassus_ , they made the decision to strip away those components they felt distracted from their narrative. These components included musical numbers, nearly all of the accumulated orphans, and, most controversially, the original “Polyphonic Motets” music store. They justified this to outraged fans by saying that they were clearing away a fog of distractions to get back to what made the show great: the relationships. Sherlock Holmes in particular was drawn in by the renewed focus on interpersonal connections, writing endless pages of speculation about the true nature of the friendship between the dark, mysterious Orlando and the frequently overlooked Jake (the one orphan who made it to adulthood). “It was never about the music store,” said Morgan. He said it often, and he smiled every time.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I did change Steven Moffat's name to Simon Morgan. And I did change Mark Gatiss into Lord Matthew Tish (but that one is absolutely justified, because Lord Tish is totally just like Godtiss, you have to believe me).
> 
> And finally, yes. I did change Sir Arthur Conan Doyle into Alan C. Ducksworth. Because it is late and cold and my brain leaked out of my ear at least an hour ago.


End file.
